Is There Anybody In There?
What we know about what we think? The answer will propably be different for each and everyone of us, why? Because each of us has different ideas, depth and knowlegde about the topic.
What we know about how we perform? The answer for this question will too be different, but it will have some major guidelines, like preparation, conditioning, technique and so forth.
The next possible question is, what do we know about the way we think changing the way we perform? This one will go even deeper on what each and everyone of us believe, think and act upon.
And that’s what i intend to do for today, get a little deeper.
We all have inner chatter, or self talk, or mind meetings, or every other name you put on it, we all have it; But what not all of us have, is consciousness about what are the content of these conversations, and even more the way this content presents itself on our daily lifes, and daily performances.
If you start and pay attention to your self talk, you will begin to see the signs of positive or negative self talk.
But how does one differ one from another?
Traits of a Positive Self-Talk: The first thing to notice, is that positive self talk, will aways give you a will, a drive, a way to keep doing whatever you’re doing, the way it will give you power is by giving you self belief emotions and thoughts, like (I CAN, I WILL, I DO, I’M GREATFULL FOR… and etc.), the other thing is that positive self talk often will be a shift in mindset, like when you are on a really bad spot, under pressure and with alot on the line, feeling like you are about to break, and suddenly you get a fresh flow of energy, that is the point that you changed your mindset, to a positive self talk mindset, maybe even without realising it, in other words, the positive self talk is something that most of us need to do actively, another thing about positive self talk will often be related to progress and growth.
Traits of a Negative Self-Talk: The very first thing you notice is that you are working way harder than you should on that task, depleting yourself from energy, will and drive, the way it deplets you from that power is by self pitty emotions and thoughts like (I CAN’T, TOO HARD, I’M DONE, WHY THIS IS HAPPENING TO ME…and etc.), the other thing is that for most of us, the negative self talk is the “natural”, it creeps in without our concent, and takes over all other emotions and thoughts processes in its way, and all of this is happening without us even knowing, when we just drift in our thougts, is the perfect timing for the negative self talk to act, it will fill our mind with self criticism, self drestruction and self pitty, this side of the self talk MUST be act upon, otherwise it WILL compromise your inner-self along the way, and as you could guess, negative self talk will often be related to stopping progress and growth.
So after we talked about the difference and how to spot them a little bit easier, remeber it’s just a little bit easier not totally easy, you gotta do the work!
Let’s talk about a more pratical use of this knowledge:
Everytime you find yourself in a bad situation, under pressure or even before this all happens but you know it’s coming, like when you sign up for a tournament, or need to talk in front alot of people, try to stay calm first, and then act on your thoughts, actively shifting your negative talk to a positive talk, even when you feel it’s dumb, or when you feel like you have all under control, what does that mean? Know that your reset mode is to think something negative in whatever shape or form, be ready for it; Once ready for the attack, you replace it with a strong positive opposition, do it actively, consciously, and willing to do so., Let’s talk examples…
- You are invited to a new academy Open-Mat: 2 ways of starting the self talk in the day of the Open-Mat
- The Reset Mode – “Wake up…oh, today i have the open mat…shit, There’ll be some tough people there i heard, maybe i’ll get beat up by their blue belts? Maybe for the f*^$#g white belts?! nah, you’re tripping, It’s all goo..Maybe i’ll stay home instead?Nah, you’ll go and beat everybody.” Goes to the Open-Mat after all the day thinking thoughts like the above with every little way things could go wrong, get’s beated up by almost every sparring, get’s home and reinforces this kind of thoughts.
- The Active Mode – “Wake up…oh, today i have that open mat… i need to roll more, it’s good, There’ll be some tough people there i heard, good, i need it anyways, What if i tap for a blue belt? mmm…ah f*^k that, who cares, i need to improve so if tapping for a blue belt its required so be it, haha, great day to have jiu jitsu. i needed it! started to loosing my grip over a blue belt! let’s go there and have fun and porrada, porrada & fun!” Goes to the Open -Mat after all the day thinking thoughts like the above, with everything that could go wrong is immediatelly responded by a positive one, and even with humor, get’s beat up by almost every sparring, get’s home and reinforce the thoughts on what to improve and what the next step is.
- You are in a tournament 3 from 6 fights in: 2 ways of mental state to be at “the wall”
- The Reset Mode – “F*^k i’m tired, i’m done, can’t f*^$#g breath, and i still have 3 more to do?!?! why i entered this tournament, i knew i wasn’t ready yet….my forearm are kiling me, breath man, i only have 3 minutes to go, come on….ican…’t, i’m so done….i’ll try to do one more, after that i’ll see….oh know its the guy who’s have some judo tournaments background…f*^k….i’m dead, i’ll pull right on the start, but he sure has top pressure on point….shit….oh time’s up, time to g…”
- The Active Mode – “Oh shit, i’m tired….i’m can’t breath….relax, breath….in…out….close your mouth…breath in….let go….i still have 3 minutes to rest, that’s good…relax…breath, 3 more fights to go…think about this one, pass this one, you’ll receive another 7 minutes to breath…and you’ll breath again, and think about the next one, that’s all…relax, breath…the next guy is that judo champ right? F*^k it, i’ll try to stand up with him, if i see it’s to dangerous, i’ll pull right into the half and go under….oh, time’s up, porrada time!”
Now that you see these 2 simple examples, the self talk itself is always around the same main topics, only the way the fighter chooses to go with it is different, one see the obstacles and panics, thinking even worse thoughts, and the second see the same obstacles and build up from there, not down, he understand that the obstacle is there, but he dosen’t dwell on it negatively, goes straight to the next move, next mission, the first one brings himself down, without even noticing it, that’s the worse part, so…everyone of us has them both, that is the internal dance we do with ourselves every day, every moment, every second, so we have the power to work on the frequence the dance mostly is, throughout our hours, days, weeks, years….our life.
By doing this, not only your mental talk will be healthier, your daily task and performances will improve drastically, we think, we feel, we act….change your act, by changing your self talk.
I hope you’ll find it helpfull, See ya at the dojo, OSS!